Personally I don't understand the purpose behind playing the game that Lee wasn't a slave owner. He was, for most of his life. So what? Was it illegal? No. Was he a particularly cruel master? Not from what I've read. Was he opposed to slavery? Mildly opposed at best, but more like a reluctant supporter. Does it make him a bad person? If so, then it many of our Founding Fathers and most of our early presidents bad people too, and I don't accept that. Yet Lee apologists constantly understate his connection with the institution and overstate Grant's as if that's supposed to mean anything.
My suggestion to you and your buddies is to stop judging Lee by today's standards and judge him instead by the standards of the period and by his peers. He actually comes off looking pretty good in most respects.
I have no debate with any point you’ve made regarding Robert E. Lee.
For some people, the war of Northern Aggression, is on-going...