One thing I’ve also heard a lot from friends of people who commit suicide, is that in the days before, they actually seemed happier than normal, the suggestion being that they knew in their minds soon all of their troubles would soon be over.
Me, too. I’ve heard that as well. I’ve never seen it in my quite limited layman’s experience (though I’ve had waaaay too much of that), only a constant depression in the person right up to the end. What’s left for me is always the profound sense of loss and sense of missed opportunity... I might have been able to help but didn’t. Stupid me, I never seem to realize how much I liked the person until he’s gone.
My brother’s best friend committed suicide in junior high school by jumping off a fifty-foot high train trestle in front of a speeding freight train. That train was going 70mph. How much do you have to hate yourself (or your parents?) to do that? I knew that location well, one of the most terrifying spots in town. The kid’s father was our Sunday school teacher. Nobody ever figured out why the kid did it.