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Posted on 07/19/2014 6:24:41 PM PDT by nickcarraway
Review: Divorcing a Real Witch: For Pagans and the People That Used to Love Them by Diane Rajchel
This is a book I asked to review not because I have been through the pain and process of divorce myself, but because it offers another perspective in the raft of pagan lifestyle books that are currently appearing. I have to admit though that as the child of divorced parents, and as an author interested in the lives of children, I didn’t come to this title without investment and interest. It is sad that within the wider Pagan community, divorce and separation is all too common, and so many of us don’t consider the ways in which Pagans individually and communally may offer support and care at such a time. Rajchel’s title therefore is extremely timely.
It is clear from the outset that this is a very personal subject for Rachjel, and in the forward and through the early chapters we are given an honest and heart felt account of her personal journey through the end of a marriage and a divorce in her 20s. She uses her own divorce as the starting block to delve into the various issues of divorce as a Pagan.
The chapters cover a variety of subjects, in varying degrees of depth. For example, in the initial chapters, notably Chapter 2 The Divorced Pagan and Society, she covers a lot of ground on the relationship between the divorcee and friends, family, societal expectations and pressures, including specific details such as the significant role of the witness. I was particularly interested in a section entitled Divorce and Mystery, where she details the use of tarot in divorce, and it inspired me to think about divorce as a process of change, something we Pagans celebrate and honor in our mythic and ritual cycles.
Later chapters, such as Chapter 5 The Inner Work of Divorce and Chapter 6 Handparting Rituals, detail rituals and magical workings to help release old relationship patterns, handle anger, protect yourself from abuse and negativity, and most notably an in depth description of a handparting ritual that can be adapted to suit any couple. The magical operations and handparting rituals here are magically sound and have some moving components – for traditionalists there are some lovely inclusions with rose thorns, lunar phases and mirrors. The rituals outlined are suitable for multiple path pagans, as they are adaptable and non-path specific.
Throughout the book Rajchel employs voices from a self-selecting sample group of Pagans who had experienced divorce that she conducted a survey with, and these voices often add breadth of experience and interesting opinion to the book’s discussion. At times, however, I felt that their placement and structuring made the readabilty of the book a little disjointed. Perhaps this was because they left me wanting to know more about their journey to and through divorce in more detail.
I was surprised that there was little discussion of the question of children in the book. The complexity of managing children’s emotional needs in divorce is not a focal point in this text, despite the fact that Rajchel does touch on the subject. The section entitled Children (pg 30) has only two paragraphs detailing the challenges of children in divorce, before going on to discuss the role of the witness. Whist detailing that children are not necessarily scarred by the process of divorce but by parental conflict and unhappiness, and persuasively describing the statistics that show the prevalence of divorce in wider family structures, I felt there was a missed opportunity to explore how we can hold children or include children in the process of divorce as Pagans, or to detail how some children may suffer the double blow of being in a minority faith group and from a ‘broken home’.
In Divorcing a Real Witch, Rajchel describes the process of her own divorce through a Pagan lens and offers insight into the complexity of divorce irrespective of spirituality, yet how it can be aided with the help of magical tools and Pagan spirituality. She does not judge nor preach, but speaks here with both pragmatism and honesty; she feels like a friend talking to you – a warm and level-headed friend who has been through her own journey, and the kind that you would want around you when you were navigating the turmoil of a divorce.
As if I care about the problems of the Pagan community.
Odd. LOL
Why was this subject important enough for you to post?
Yer a confirmed Batchelor.
Is it because no matter how beautiful a woman is there is line of men who just won’t put up with her Shiite anymore?
After all, if things didn’t end badly they wouldn’t end.
personally, I’d just torch their broom factory.
Got a black magic woman?
Bent One should read this book.
That there is a Pagan community is a problem.
From the title I thought for sure Bill and Hill were finally ending their charade.
Hey, whoa, that's two entirely different things. One of them is a bent, grotesque, hideous crone cackling madly at nothing and wishing evil on everyone around her. The other one's a witch.
But I thought they were too poor to get divorced?
“That there is a Pagan community is a problem.”
Aye; another historical “victim” group to be appeased.
I can only guess that people get into this nonsense because they are terribly afraid of being inconsequential (like those goofy teenage “goth” geeks.
“Notice me! I’m different and interesting!”
But the thing is, they are not historical.
It’s make believe.
Wicca is the “look at me” “religion”
Absolutely, but they’ll cling to the Salem trials as others cling to slavery.
I have worked with a fair few single women who think they are witches of some sort or another - They dabble in New Age practices or ways of thought or just think it is trendy to wear a lot of black and be a bit deadly. Only one of them was the real thing. The thing I have found with them is that a) A lot of them have abuse or abandonment issues b) Paganism/witchcraft gives some women the illusion of power or control that they don’t feel they otherwise have in their lives.
I guess that kind of makes sense
Wicca is the “look at me” “religion”
Oh definitely; must be fun to make it up as you go, and turn Halloween into your Christmas...
No doubt. However, modern "pagan" covers a lot more than just Wicca.
Well done.
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