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I’m not a fan or a non-fan of AA. If you need it, it’s great that it’s there. I once had an employee who was my friend’s Dad. He was, without question, the single most dedicated drinker/drunk in human history. If he didn’t go to an AA meeting 365 days a year, and yes, I include his birthday, Christmas, anniversary....all he would have to do was to drive by a liquor store and he would be literally face down in the gutter within 75 yards of that store.

However, he was hands down the most awesome salesman for the particular type of computer hardware I was selling at the time and I jumped at the chance to not only hire him but to build my company around him. Because he knew absolutely everyone in the business.

It doesn’t sound to me like you are in a condition where you need the rigamarole of AA, but again, I have no opinion of it, nor am I a licensed or experienced therapist. I have known both exceptionally talented people and entirely ordinary people who required it and benefited greatly from it. I also have what I consider lots of experience with drunks and drug addicts, more than I would wish on anyone.

I believe the key is to get busy with stuff that takes your attention off yourself. Editorial stuff w/the local church, or churches, friends, anything. And be selfish about why you are doing it, know that you are doing it to keep yourself occupied. The value is not the money you might earn, but the distraction from getting overly internal and the acknowledgement you’ll get from those who value your presence and contribution.

Should that not work, go to AA by all means. But this (what I am suggesting) is not “thinking about it”. This is doing it, putting your body in motion. The alcohol is about dulling the sensation of disharmony between the external physical environment and the internal mental/emotional environment. By getting busy doing things you might enjoy, you get yourself into the habit of working to change your external environment while supporting the idea of changing your internal powerlessness and feelings of low-value.