Sorry to read that Rat, your story mirrors mine, in reverse of course.
What I’ve learned along the way is that with the wrong person, you can’t do anything right. With the right person, you can’t do anything wrong. It’s exaggerated of course, but at it’s heart, I find it to be true. My ex remarried a woman who is about as evil as I’ve seen.
You know, I am OK, and I will be OK. Am I as happy and satisfied as I want to be? No, but few are. I am a family man at heart, and that has yet to be replaced, if it ever will be.
I am not so much sad for me, but for this world in which we live and my sons. My ex is very much analagous to our culture: if just a little bit in commitment and integrity is given, all of us would be much more content and happy. The longer I live and the more I look around, the more I am convinced that I “am not of this world”.