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Posted on 06/08/2014 5:55:39 PM PDT by Steelfish
http://www.eonline.com/photos/12687/2014-miss-usa-contestants/387833
(Excerpt) Read more at eonline.com ...
California, Delaware, West Virginia.
Utah is in my top four, but I don’t think it’s fair to the other girls to start with Alabama, she’s a hard act to follow.
Illinois isn’t to shabby either.
‘Visualize no makeup’. As we used to say back in the day, “That’s why God created light switches.”
Ha. PEEK-A-BOO! LMAO
Why not just get one that doesn’t need negative wattage? Worked for me ;)
I am delighted to see all the brunettes.
.
The conservative solution of course is to get a job and a car. the rest falls naturally into place. And without the bad memories of bovine companionship....not that I would have ever partook in anything less than the best you understand..... nope....I deny it all. Besides, what difference, at this point, does it make ;)
“...Almost Heaven...West Virginia...Blue Ridge Mountains...Shenandoah River...”
The Polaroids have long since been burned.
I liked the long gown shots. The “so-called sexy” shots with the beads and instruments made them all look like sluts. The make-up is waaaaay over done. It doesn’t make them look any more beautiful, just not as easy to recognize! How would one choose Miss Congeniality (if they still do) from those pictures? None of them look like nice girls in those poses.
Well Red Right Returning
Colorado is either cross-eyed or insane. Connecticut is cute. Delaware looks like a tranny. DC has too much contouring make-up on her nose. Florida looks intensely uncomfortable, like a tom-boy forced to dress up.
Georgia & Hawaii are cute. Idaho is adorable but she looks like she's 13. Illinois is pretty but her breasts look like Tupperware cups. Indiana's got some teeth on her.
Iowa's not bad but I think she's another one with wonk-eye or something. Kansas has kind of a Cute Trailer Trash look about her. Very Juliette Lewis.
Kentucky looks unnervingly like Elvis. Louisiana has Bond girl written all over her...
Yes, the violin always sounds best when played by a 22 year-old woman in a bikini.
Michigan is... interesting looking. Arabic? Minnesota is beautiful but looks perfectly capable of murdering the competition. Mississippi is awkward as a two-legged table. Girl, just get a guitar and go to Nashville.
Missouri is clearly a hit-woman assigned to take out one of the judges. Montana will write about this experience for her thesis and call it Feminism and Humor: An Uncomfortable Marriage. Nebraska intends to use her winnings to start her own catering business, I'm sure...
Oh, Nevada is cute! Oh, she's very cute. I like her. New Hampshire looks like a Kennedy by-blow. New Jersey looks like a Kardashian. New Mexico has a strange body. No visible bones. Like she's 15.
I thought it was hair upon a second look.
Did the home girl from Florida make the final cut? I just tuned into the broadcast.
Ohio is bland. Rather like Ohio. Oklahoma needs to just go to nursing school. Oregon is kind of horsey. Pennsylvania looks like a short, meaty Christie Brinkley.
Rhode Island looks like the kind of waitress who slams your plate down in front of you and stares at you like "You got something to say?"
Damn, South Carolina is WALL-EYED! I mean like she can look at you and the menu at the same time. South Dakota looks like a nervous 35 year old missionary.
Tennessee looks extremely controlled. Might be unstable. Texas has a strangely flat face somehow. Can't explain it. Utah is terribly cute. She'll be a good Fox Anchorwoman some day.
Vermont is a muppet. Virginia looks like she has an IQ in the Forrest Gump range. Probably not, but she LOOKS like it.
Washington. No, no... back to the truck stop, hon. West Virginia is smiling like "Three more payments and these boobs are mine!!"
Wisconsin looks like she's already made some arrangements with certain judges. Just get me that recording contact, mister... Wyoming couldn't afford caps on her teeth so she just glued a set of dentures in front of her real teeth...
Okay, well, that was fun!
...and the Pawn Stars Boys go wild!...Congrats Miss Nevada!
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