[dainbramaged]

So Jackson makes three films from a half inch thick paperback book - anyone remember “Bored of the Rings” by the Harvard Lampoon guys way back when? The story of the ring given by Dildo Bugger to his nephew, Frito. Some of it was pretty clever, some not so much.

[Vaquero]

“Toke-a-lid! Smoke a lid! Pop the mescalino!
Stash the hash! Gonna crash! make mine methedrino!
Hop a hill! Pop a pill! For old Tim Benzedrino!”

thanks Henry Beard and Doug Kenny....

[Billthedrill]

Tim! Tim Benzedrine!
Hash! Boo! Valvoline!
Clean! Clean! Clean for Gene!
First, second, neutral, park!
Hie thee hence, you leafy nark!

A beautiful story. And then, there's the true translation of what was inscribed on the One Ring:

This Ring, no other, is made by the elves,
Who'd pawn their own mother to grab it themselves.
Ruler of creeper, mortal and scallop,
This is a sleeper that packs quite a wallop.
The Power almighty rests in this Lone Ring.
The Power, alrighty, for doing your Own Thing.
If broken or busted, it cannot be remade.
If found, send to Sorhed (the postage is prepaid).