Groaner alert... Did you hear about the locomotive that always did as it was told?
It was really well trained.
100% Guarantee? OOPS!
The latest bulletin from the language/spelling/grammar police:
- Dear John:
I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are generous, kind, thoughtful. People who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me for other men. I yearn for you. I have no feelings whatsoever when we're apart. I can be forever happy--will you let me be yours?
Gloria
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Dear John:
I want a man who knows what love is. All about you are generous, kind, thoughtful people, who are not like you. Admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me. For other men, I yearn. For you, I have no feelings whatsoever. When we're apart, I can be forever happy. Will you let me be?
Yours,
Gloria
The six contradictions of socialism in the United States of America:
1. America is capitalist and greedy - yet half of the population is subsidized.
2. Half of the population is subsidized - yet they think they are victims.
3. They think they are victims - yet their representatives run the government.
4. Their representatives run the government - yet the poor keep getting poorer.
5. The poor keep getting poorer - yet they have things that people in other countries only dream about.
6. They have things that people in other countries only dream about - yet they want America to be more like those other countries.
Think about it!
And that, my friends, pretty much sums up the USA in the 21st Century.
My Mother-law's coming... I had to clear out my half of the closet so she could have a place to hang upside down and sleep.
Paddy, the Irish Fireman, was walking along the street during his once-in-a-lifetime visit to New York when he rounds a corner and there's a high rise building on fire. Paddy, ever the kind-hearted and resourceful Irishman, runs up to the building to see if he can help and notices people trapped five stories up.
Paddy yells to the people, "I'm Paddy Michael Fitzpatrick, an Irish Fire Fighter on holiday. I'm also a Rugby Union fullback! If you jump, I'll catch ya!"
One lady, in desperation, jumps and sure enough Paddy catches her. Then a man sees that Paddy catches the woman and jumps. Sure enough, Paddy catches him as well.
Then President Obama jumps out and crashes to the sidewalk ..........
Paddy didn't even attempt to catch him.
Paddy looks up and yells, "Don't be throwin' down the burnt ones!!"
