On the flip side, I never have to shovel up the wife’s poo.
Can’t post the whole article. Read the rest at link.
All I have is a dog ^^
Do not even want a spouse.
7. You set aside a trust fund in your estate for your dog, but divorce your wife.
Put your wife and dog in the trunk. Take them for a ride.
Who’s happy to see you when you open the trunk?
Might be because the dog is the only one that greets me when I get home. The wife is parked on the couch with her face stuck to an electronic device.
The only other one to greet me is the cat, but it just wants food.
Some chef once said that her favorite animal is Lamb because it’s cute on the hoof and delicious on the plate.
It sorta touches on how I feel about my dog. He’s really great and it took me a LONG time to warm up to him. He’s like another person in the family. But he is a dog. He is not human, and he is not made in God’s image.
I understand that what I interpret as human thoughts of endearment on his part is really just him wondering if I have another Beggin’ Strip. But it is fun to imagine otherwise.
In order to prove that dogs deserve every bit of love and attention that they get, try this simple test:
1. Lock both your dog and your spouse in the trunk of your car on a midsummer morning.
2. Park the car in a War-Mart or other large asphalt-paved parking lot.
3. Come back in the afternoon, after the heat of the summer day has dissipated.
4. Open the trunk and let them out.
5. Which one is happy to see you?
1. You can enjoy a beer all month long.
2. You don’t have to wine and dine a beer.
3. Beer stains wash out.
4. Beer doesn’t have to get a new dress for a party.
5. Beer never has a headache.
6. When a beer goes flat, you just toss it out.
7. Beer is never late.
8. Beer doesn’t have a birthday for you to forget.
9. Beer doesn’t get jealous when you grab another beer.
10. Beer doesn’t argue with you about when to drink it.
ll. You always know that you are the first one to pop a beer.
l2. Beer doesn’t get upset when you come home and decide to have another beer.
13. Beer never threatens to go to a lawyer.
14. Beer labels come off without a fight.
15. A beer always goes down easy.
16. You can have more than one beer a night and not feel guilty.
17. No court has ever granted a beer alimony payments.
18. You can share a beer with your friends.
19. After you have had a beer, the bottle is still worth something.
20. Hangovers go away.
21. Beers never require expensive permanent and hair tints.
22. Beer is always wet.
23. If you change beers, you don’t have to pay alimony.
24. You don’t have to wash a beer before it tastes good.
25. If you pour your beer right, you’ll always get a good head.
26. Beer can be easily eliminated.
27. Beer is only stopping by, it doesn’t stay around and nag.
28. Beer doesn’t demand equality.
29. A frigid beer is a good beer.
30. You don’t have to take expensive flowers home to your beer.
31. Beer never complains about when you come for it.
32. You don’t have to take your beer to a psychiatrist to get it to bubble.
33. You can have a beer in public.
34. You can see through a beer and you know what you are getting.
35. When your beer gets upset, it settles down.
36. Beer is subject to quality control and doesn’t argue about it.
37. Beer doesn’t talk back to you and ask a lot of silly questions.
38. Beer doesn’t ask you to take a lie detector test about when you had the
last one.
39. Beer doesn’t have a Mother that goes with it.
40. If you drop a beer, there is no doctor bill.
41. Beer doesn’t have anniversaries for you to forget.
42. Beer doesn’t demand that you take it dancing before you can have it.
43. Beer doesn’t have relatives that stop by and stay for weeks.
44. When you buy a beer, you own it.
45. Beer never cries or gets jealous.
Every dog I've ever owned though has always been first to greet me at the door.
"Jerry" (a German Shepherd/Golden Retriever ix) would push the kids out of the way and wriggle his way to being first to greet me at the door when our kids were small. It was kinda funny. He'd watch for me out the front window then run to the door that opens to the garage as soon as he saw my truck pull into the driveway.
Jerry passed some 8 years ago now, and now we have Teddy, a black Labradoodle. With no prompting or training whatsoever, Teddy does the exact same thing. Most of the time he's not even at the front window, he hears my truck coming down the street and runs for the door to the garage to greet me when I walk in.
So I admit to that one. The rest, nuh uh.
My dogs never ran up three credit cards behind my back, with one of them being in my name without my knowledge. Doesn’t matter now anyway......my two fur babies are my best friends and worth coming home to.
After my wife passed it was hard to find someone as faithful as she was. My current dog fits the bill unlike the majority of single older women in NE Mississippi.
Bump for later....
The dog needs to read this.... : ^ )
I have come to realize she thinks I am her pet....
Your dogs collar is nicer than your wife's necklace.
You sleep in the dog house.
You bark more than you talk.