I don’t know what I need and what I want to do. A wise man told me (and a bunch of other FReepers) it isn't your job to know what to do. Your job is to show up.
Step two is to understand God is in control.
(paraphrasing)
The key to happiness is to be deceitful, manipulative, and self-serving. They say mankind has a God-shaped hole in our hearts -- fill it with cheap sex, booze, partying, video games, drugs, hookers, random assaults, and chlamydiae. There is only one way to Spiritual Enlightentment: Fornication and lawlessness. Be cruel. Be angry, and do so for no reason. Cuss at people and taunt them, identifying shortcomings then ridiculing them for those. Hate everyone, eat way too much, sleep in and call in sick to work. Despise small animals, clear forest for no reason, cause division and strife whereever you go.
This is what has worked for me.