Posted on 03/14/2014 5:57:50 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
Brings to mind a question I still haven’t gotten an answer for...why do you call it a combine when its job is to separate?
That’s just nuts.
***
Church Ladies
Typewriters.
They’re Back!
Please pray for Mrs. -—— this week. She fell and hurt her hip and is now under her doctor’s car.
What’s that thing in the reef
with the big shiny teeth?
It’s a Moray.
Remember, where four Irishmen are gathered, there’s a fifth.
As a frequent business traveler, I seek out small, quiet local places to eat in the cities I visit rather than the impersonal and often over priced hotel dining rooms. On my first visit to Dublin, I asked some one on the street for a dinner suggestion and they pointed me to a near by public house known for it’s local color and sandwiches. Off went ! The place fit my specs and poured a great glass of Guinness.
While at the bar, I couldn’t help over hearing a discussion between two men that went something like this -
Man 1 : “I’m from Dublin. So are ya from Dublin too?”
Man 2: “Yes I am, fancy that, will ya!”
Man 1 : So what parish did ya grow up in?
Man 2 : St Mary’s.
Man 1: St Mary’s!!?? Bejesus. Me too!! Did ya have Sister Agnes in grade 4?
Man 2 : Sister Agnes?! God man. Figure that?! I haven’t tot of her name in years. I had her too.
Man 1 : I don’t suppose ya know Billy Hale? I played footie wit him.
Man 2 : Billy Hale’s me best friend! Jesus, Mary and Joseph! What a coincidence! ...................
As the two kept talking and found out how much in common they had with each other, their voices got louder and louder and more excited. So much so, I finally had to ask the bartender, “What’s up with those two?”.
“Them two?”, he said. “Oh, it’s just the Flannigan twins, drunk again!”
Not to be picky, but this is not silly, it is simple common sense.
What are two gay Irishmen named ?
Michael Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzmichael
IRISH QUEER: A man who prefers women to whisky.
Irish queers: Gerald Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzgerald...
or
Ben Doone and Phil McAvity....
At the National Art Gallery in Dublin , a husband and wife were staring at a portrait that had them completely confused.
The painting depicted 3 black men totally naked, sitting on a bench.
Two of the figures had black penises, but the one in the middle had a pink penis.
The curator of the gallery realized that they were having trouble interpreting the painting and offered his personal assessment.
He went on for over half an hour explaining how it depicted the sexual emasculation of African Americans in a predominately white, patriarchal society.
‘In fact’, he pointed out, ‘some serious critics believe that the pink penis also reflects the cultural and sociological oppression experienced by gay men in contemporary society’.
After the curator left, an Irishman approached the couple and said, ‘Would you like to know what the painting is really about?’
‘Now why would you claim to be more of an expert than the curator of the gallery, asked the couple?
‘Because I am the artist, who painted the picture,’ he replied. ‘In fact, there are no African Americans depicted at all. They’re just three Irish coal miners. The guy in the middle went home for lunch.
An Irishman has recently moved to New York. Every night he goes to the bar down the street from his apartment, orders three beers at once, and sits at his table taking a drink from each one in turn. After a while, the barkeep notices this and decides he needs to find out why this Irish fellow follows this somewhat unusual practice.
“Well,” says the Irishman, “my two brothers and I left Belfast earlier this year to seek our fortunes elsewhere. I came here to New York, Seamus moved to London, and Patrick went to Sydney. We all agreed that we’d do this at our local bar every day after work sort of as a way of having a pint together.”
The bartender says, “Well, that’s a neat idea!”
A few weeks later, the Irishman comes into the bar, but this time he only orders two beers. The bartender decides to take him his beers himself rather than have one of the waitresses take them.
He sets the two beers in front of the Irishman and says, “I’m so sorry.”
“About what?” asks the Irishman.
“About your brother,” the barkeep says. “You’ve only ordered two today, so something must have happened to him.”
“Oh, no, my brothers are fine,” says the Irishman. “I’ve given up drinkin’ for Lent.”
Also Phil McCracken.
No, please!!!
Does this imply that the kid even has "two" parents? It should probably read, "I'm going to call you' Baby Momma!" since 70% of "black" kids are born out of wedlock.
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