It’d be funny if everyone started calling the cops to report finding loose seat-cushion change.
Dial 911. “Hey I found a dime on the sidewalk”.
Rule #2: Hire yourself the smartest lawyer you can find (You can afford it).
Rule #3: Search around for a state or even foreign country whose tax laws are most sympathetic to your situation (see "smartest lawyer" under Rule #2.
Rule #4: Get out of California stat with your find.
Rule #5: See Rule #1.