[xsmommy]

He was elderly and death was expected more or less by then. This man is early 50s. It’s not the instinct of the young to appreciate every minute knowing nothing is promised to us. They will regret forever not having savored every available moment with their father, should he not survive this. The life choices they are making envision a father dying in old age. He is presuming to make those choices for them by depriving them of this knowledge. Life is better lived with no regrets. I think this is a grievous error. I would not do this to my kids regardless of what their father wanted. My friend agrees with me but is respecting his wish.

[SoothingDave]

The dying man is more likely to forgive. Or at least hold a grudge a lot less longer.

[WhyisaTexasgirlinPA]

Well said. Even though my Father did not have a lingering illness, and instead died of a massive heart attack, my sister still, to this day, blames herself for not kissing him goodbye that morning. Children handle death differently than adults - no question.

Of course then there is my evil stepmotherinlaw who said it was tougher for her to lose her mother than it was for me to lose my father since she had "known her mother longer"

[hobbes1]

My dad was not yet 70.

Stage 4 two different places, believe when I say I understand,

And, I know, you don’t want to have this discussion, so feel free to respond if you wish, I will not after this.

Death knows no age, sadly. But bearing the burden alone...toughness, and admirable....

Those qualities are magnified, imho, by lack of age, not enhanced by more of it.

I do get your point.

[WhyisaTexasgirlinPA]

I really feel sorry for your friend - her husband is really asking something of her that she will regret for the rest of her life.