I remember watching an episode of "The Simpsons" some years ago, and the family was attending a soccer game. The game had a big buildup, and Homer was real excited. Then the game began. The "excitement" consisted of two players kicking the ball back and forth to each other without progressing towards the goal. Homer became visibly outraged and eventually walked out of the stadium. I think.
At any rate, there was some so-called big soccer game on the tv a few days later, so I decided to check it out. Sure enough, the game started with one team kicking the ball back and forth to each without advancing towards the goal. If one player did get the ball ahead of a defender anywhere near the goal, he was called for being offside, and the whole damned boring process started anew. I didn't watch the whole thing, but it was quite a bit into the game before one side actually got a shot on goal. Which, of course, missed. That's why Americans don't watch soccer.