I know a motherfreepin’ Bigfoot when I see one! Don’t bring a Bigfoot into my home, Gus! With my children? The beach can’t talk! She can’t walk a flight of steps! She’s not trained well, Gus! She can *not* walk steps! I’ll bet she climbs the freep outta trees, though, don’t she, Gus?
*Edited for publication.
I hit a bigfoot with my car once. Thought it was dead , threw it in my backseat. It came back to life though. A cop pulled me over a little later... told me to take the animal to the zoo. Later that day the same cop pulled me over. He says “I thought I told you to take that animal to the zoo”.
So I tell him “I did, and we had so much fun we decided to see a movie after”.