Yes, its that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.
Here Is The Glorious Winner:
1. When his .38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.
And Now, The Honorable Mentions:
2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chefs claim was approved.
3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
6.. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer $15.
7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that hed just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.
8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, Yes, officer, thats her. Thats the lady I stole the purse from.
9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldnt open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they werent available for breakfast The frustrated gunman walked away.
10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street by sucking on a hose, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline, but he plugged his siphon hose into the motor homes sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was the best laugh hed ever had and the perp had been punished enough!
****Remember*****
They walk among us, they can reproduce.
Number 10 should be Number 2. No pun intended.
Bogus. To win a Darwin you have to die.
In #4 that was a quick thinking individual. Got himself out of a jam, and it took 3 days for them to figure it out...
I’ve heard of most of these before. Are you sure they are 2013’s?
No comment on that, but you might find this link interesting.
Seems your list is a little old and not very accurate either.
Too much.
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LOL!
#11 - Honorable mention: the idiot who applied “Darwin Awards” to this list.
An actor who made movies with fast cars jumped into one of the most unsafe fast cars ever built as a passenger, they took off and he was killed a few minutes later.
Well, only according to the blogger at the source link, as of 8/2013. Don’t know where he got his info, as there are no links supporting his post...
If you go to the real site (linked elsewhere here), they haven’t posted any yearly award lists since 2011....
A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline, but he plugged his siphon hose into the motor homes sewage tank by mistake.
RV Waste Tanks don’t work that way. You’ve got an outlet and a valve. You attach the waste hose to the dump site, pull the valve and gravity/hydrodynamics does the rest.
You have to die to be a real honoree of the DA.
Several of these are retreads from old non-Darwinian feats.
I read the one about the guy trying to steal gas from a motor home’s sewage tank over 30 years ago.
“They walk among us, they can reproduce. “
Worse; they vote.
#8 has been around for years.
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