Everyone knows that a Chupacabra brought here by aliens sabotaged the plane. Communists fed the Chupacabra fluoridated water, sapping him of his precious bodily fluids. They then controlled its brain using the MK Ultra protocol. Since Fuddy did not die in the actual crash, CIA agents used HAARP in Alaska to kill her. HAARP is really Nikola Tesla’s death ray.
There one hole in that theory: where do the Freemasons fit in?