Imagine that you have a child (possibly you do). Your son is somehow errant. He has committed some “crime” for which he refuses to repent of.
Could you, or any decent parent, take a belt or a stick and whip him endlessly? And then claim he damned himself? That he had a choice but rejected your offer of forgiveness? So he deserved to be beaten hour after hour, day after day? And then call yourself a loving parent?
We put parents like that in prison.
What kind of parent would you be if you said afterwards--"oh, well, I didn't mean it."
Don't forget--the "crime" we are speaking of here is NOT isolated sin here and there. We all commit those. The "crime" we are talking about is outright rejection of you as his parent. Refusal to listen to your teaching. Refusal to accept your discipline. Refusal to have anything to do with you. So--you kick him out. You banish him to a place where you are not. You let him experience his error without any more shielding.