What you say is true for northern VA, Hampton Roads, and the Richmond area. But she is considering central rural VA; that's where I am, and we are solidly red. For now, anyway.
But the lure of family is strong, and probably the best way to go.
Chesterfield County just outside Richmond is pretty awesome. We’ve assimilated well. I sent the little wacko to kindergarten in her “God’s Girl” tshirt this week and did NOT get any blowback. There’s lots of American flags blowing around, and my taxes are cheap.
To the original question, you really gotta rent anywhere new to you. The very last thing you’d ever want is to be stuck somewhere you hate. Don’t worry about your credit being crappy after the foreclosure. I have a credit score of zero (proudly!) Don’t let that keep you from trying out a place near the family. Besides, wherever you go, there you are.