This is not a heath crisis. It is a software bug in the progressive operating system. They will deal with it by demanding more public money. That is their default error response. But through it all no one will so much as hint that the whole thing could be avoided if people just keep their junk in their pants.
This is true! Sex anytime, anywhere with anyone without risk or criticism is the reward for being a good liberal. And by golly, if it takes more money to let people have their fun, we will get it.