Posted on 09/07/2013 1:13:55 AM PDT by MacMattico
I know this isn't Syria or anything of that much importance to anybody but my family. But as a Conservative I think it's important to talk about kids and how they're treated and what we expect of them.
Honor roll niece is a member of an undefeated team in her sport. We go to watch her games, she is in HS and has been a Varsity starter for 3 years since 8th grade and was made a Captain this year.
After she started seeing a little less playing time, she respectfully (I watched her do this) asked if there was something she needed to do to improve, a certain skill she needed to work on. Nope, everything was fine, just getting some other girls some playing time against the "easier" teams.
Then suddenly an e-mail from the coach saying she lacked in every skill area, listing all skill areas, performed horribly in tryouts, has been a negative for the team as a whole (scoring wise not attitude or effort), and more negative comments, I can't remember them all, the e-mail was on my sister's phone as we were in the parking lot going to nieces game. Obviously the coach sent it out during the school day, so much for teaching! I asked if she (niece) had seen the e-mail, or if the coach had said something. Not that my sister knew of. So we approached the field thinking niece would be unhappy and on the bench. We got there just as the game was starting and niece is in there, starting. Plays 80% of the game and contributes much. We read the e-mail again. All we can figure out is this coach went off because niece asked "how can I improve" as if questioning the coaches coaching ability. My sister says she needs to think about what she's going to do, and doesn't even want to show her daughter the e-mail it's so negative. The coach also plays favorites and likes to have their ass kissed. Niece is friendly and good at the sport so has been able to avoid having to ass kiss or hang out with only certain girls.
Parents and HS sports today are an awful combination. I played football back in the day and rarely saw a parent talking to a coach now they show up with lawn chairs to watch practices. IMO once a kid gets to HS they should be fending for themselves. Coaches are like bosses, some are great some suck, some are fair some suck, it’s part of the lesson.
Some people find that "motivating". Me? If I am performing well and I know it, that crap is a definite indicator that it is time to move on.
If the coach thought simply asking “How can I improve” was an attack on his or her coaching skills, it appears that what we are dealing with is a typical, dime a dozen public school employee who is unqualified for the job at multiple levels. A half decent coach should understand conceptually that “how can I improve” does not translate to “your coaching skills suck”.
Probably not but the content and unprofessionalism of the email seems like that something that would have come from an angry 13 year old kid who has not matured enough to understand that you should not be communicating to people like that, especially using a means of communication that can be shown to the public as easily as email. That is what I was getting at.
Assuming the coach is a fairly rationale person, and I am not excusing him for failing to be so, he may have been responding to how the mother approached him. There are many parents who will knock a teachers block off if their little darling is the least bit inconvenienced in their scholastic career.
My fundamental position on this is, unless there is more information than indicated, it’s best to let it go. We’ve all had bad moments and none of us deserve fire and brimstone for failing to be the most dignified of people during those moments.
We are dealing with half the story.
Known coaches who were egotistical snots who deserved getting toilet dunked for the crap they pulled.
Sounds like the list just grew by yet another name.
Expect further inquiries to garner reprisals.
I would never accuse your sister of being vindictive, I was just speaking from principle. If you’re going to communicate in a way that can be documented, you do not say anything that is not said in the most professional manner.
Too many parents assume that, if their child can play at the high school level, he’s on track to go pro.
My first impression was e-mail sent to the wrong parent (but no, it calls my sister by first name) as there are actually 3 players with nieces name, or my sister had made it up as a joke because I kind of laughed at first it seemed so bad. Both not true, sent from the school. And it was still not professional if sent to any other girl.
She’s not on track to go pro, but has had some D3 interest and is only a sophomore.
“Then why e-mail her mother saying the daughter sucks?” My guess, only getting one side of the story, maybe the coach is sick of getting grief from your sister, you did say that she had a big mouth.
Are you sure the email actually came from the coach?
Anyone ever consider the email MAY have been sent to the wrong girl?
By the way, your’s is not an isolated event as MANY highschool coaches have done similar things to other athletes under their direction. Short of sending them emails, two of my (sistor) grand daughters, both very good athletes, have had similar things happen to them during their high school years. It is NOT a life altering delima as both of our two girls (valdictorians in their class) have gone on to be excellent teachers. It will pass.
Where did you ever get that out of the OP?
You sound like a former "coach" who got his butt handed to him for bad coaching.
Some people on this thread are nuts.
Why doesn’t someone actually talk face to face with the coach? No room for ambiguity there. For all you actually know the coach may not have even written the email. I wouldn’t base hard action on something so nebulous as an email.
sounds to me he copied the wrong person.
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