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1 posted on 09/02/2013 7:46:07 AM PDT by JoeProBono
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To: JoeProBono

Suing a Mexican golf resort. Good luck with that.


44 posted on 09/02/2013 8:36:01 AM PDT by mykroar (China and Russia are playing chess while Obamas's playing 52 card pick-up.)
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To: JoeProBono
Edward Lunger, 50, Holtsville, said he was grabbed by a croc that had been hiding in the nearby bushes and clamped down on his arm.

Sorry, buddy, two-stroke penalty and a drop from where yer fingers came off. Rules are rules.

And let the party following play through while you're wasting time screaming and bleeding, willya?

45 posted on 09/02/2013 8:40:26 AM PDT by Billthedrill
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To: JoeProBono

Big Deal! A Holtsville, NY resident lost a couple of fingers. The IRS office there usually hits me up for an arm and a leg.


46 posted on 09/02/2013 8:46:50 AM PDT by TruthShallSetYouFree ( July 4, 1776: Declaration of Independence. Nov 6, 2012: Declaration of Dependence. R.I.P. America.)
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To: JoeProBono

Reminded me of this story:

A businessman was attending a conference in Africa. He had a free day and wanted to play a round of golf. He asked whether there was any course in the vicinity and was directed to one in the jungle. After a short journey, he arrived at the course and advised the pro that he wanted to play 18 holes.

“Sure,” said the pro, “What’s your handicap?”

“Well, it’s 16,” said the businessman, “But I don’t see the relevance since I shall be playing alone.”

“No, it’s very important for us to know,” said the pro. The pro then called a caddy.

“Go out with this gentleman,” said the pro, “his handicap is 16.”

The businessman was very surprised at this constant reference to his handicap. However, he paid it no more attention. The caddy picked up the businessman’s bag and a large rifle which he slung over his shoulder. Again the businessman was surprised but decided to ask no questions.

They arrived on the 1st hole, a par 4. “Please avoid those trees on the left,” said the caddy.

Needless to say, the businessman duck hooked his ball into the trees. He found his ball and was about to punch it out when he heard the loud crack of the rifle and a large snake fell dead from a tree above his head. The caddy stood next to him with the rifle smoking in his hand.

“That’s the most poisonous snake in all Africa,” said the caddy, “you’re lucky I was here with you.”

After taking a bogey on the hole, they moved to the 2nd, a par 5. “Avoid those bushes on the right,” says the caddy. Of course, the businessman’s ball went slicing away into the bushes. As he went to pick up his ball, he heard the loud crack of the caddy’s rifle once more and a huge lion fell dead at his feet. “I’ve saved your life again,” said the caddy.

The 3rd hole was a par 3 with a lake in front of the green. The businessman’s ball came up just short of the green and rolled back to the edge of the water. He had a shot. However, he had to place one foot into the lake to be able to play.

As he was about to chip the ball on to the green, a large crocodile emerged from the water and bit off his right leg. As he fell to the ground, he saw the caddy with the rifle propped at his side looking on unconcernedly.

“Why didn’t you shoot it?” writhed the man in pain.

“I’m sorry, Sir,” said the caddy, “this is stroke hole 17, you don’t get a shot here.”


50 posted on 09/02/2013 9:55:46 AM PDT by golf lover (goingf)
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To: JoeProBono

Actually, they may be on to something here. I thought most golfers were willing to pay more for extra-difficult courses.


52 posted on 09/02/2013 9:59:15 AM PDT by catnipman (Cat Nipman: Vote Republican in 2012 and only be called racist one more time!)
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To: JoeProBono

<\*sigh> it’s a BUNKER !!!!!!!!!!!


53 posted on 09/02/2013 10:14:53 AM PDT by stylin19a (Obama -> Fredo smart)
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To: JoeProBono; Revolting cat!

Apparently he is upset that the clerk in the giftshop asked him, “You seem upset, what’s been eating you?!!”


54 posted on 09/02/2013 11:02:51 AM PDT by a fool in paradise (America 2013 - STUCK ON STUPID)
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