Little do they know, not all coffee can be adequately described as mere cups...
For some has been known to kill far more quickly, while other reanimate the dead...
“The True Coffee grants life, the False Coffee grants Unlife!
Choose wisely!”
Nasty Evil Minion chooses the stuff that looks like living motor oil.
He promptly begins writhing on the floor, foaming at the mouth, ranting about outer planes gods, and becomes a zombie.
“He chose.....poorly.”