I hate the blender. It deserved its fate. I don’t think Epic Fail, Inert, nor anyone else even touched the vacuum. I’ve also found all the dirty laundry that was hidden ... better today than last night, when I was really tired and might have gotten upset.
Your family obviously loves you: They know to bury the bad news deep enough that you won’t find it until the next day. So, Friendly Christian Laundromat today? Do they have wifi?
You walked into a room and a disembodied voice said, “Roll for initiative?”