I ended up going with a Sig 2022 9mm.
You're the only person I know who has one. Please let me know how you like it.
SIG Sauer excellent choice, also 17 rd Mec Gar mags available, Mec Gar are top of the line: https://delta3outfitters.com/store/products/MEC%252dGAR-MAG-SIG-PRO2022-9MM-17RD-AFC.html
SIG also has the SIG P290 pocket pistol though pricey, otherwise .38 special snubby is decent carry option, hammerless to avoid snags. Taurus makes a decent price 7 shot snubby, hammer can always be removed.
Purses are available with side outer pockets for concealed carry, which is faster than accessing inside zippered purse. Also one should never underestimate the effect of a having a few knives, dirty work yes, but effective, with fixed blade more resilient than folders. Also a sap or blackjack can be found online cheap. Any jurisdictional edicts banning such items should be ignored per 2nd Amendment.