For defense a .38 5 shot hammerless snubby is perfect. Practically zero maintenance. It’s not a fun gun to shoot on weekends.
For that get a Glock or a 6” .357 and shoot .38’s for practice. I have all of the above and the snubby is just what it is concealable.
You and I think alike. My primary carry is a Taurus .357 hammerless snubby loaded with .38 P+ hollowpoints. I have two holsters, a belly band and pockets that it always fits nice in no matter what I want to wear. When it gets cold enough for sweatshirts and jackets, I go with the .45 XD Compact. There is only one holster for that beast. lol
I have always recommended the hammerless snubby for everyday carry and especially for women. Won't hang up on clothes, is always DOA, has no safety to worry about and is supremely reliable (will never jamb). If it doesn't go bang, pull the trigger again. It's also low maintenance and easy to load and unload. They can also be found pretty cost effectively.
As you said, they aren't sexy guns. But they sure are practical.
I have all of the above and the snubby is just what it is concealable.