Man wakes up with lipstick on, goes berserk

Edmonton Sun ^ | July 12, 2013 | TONY BLAIS

[Vigilanteman]

Don't mess with Sasquatch.

[JaguarXKE]

This thread reminds me of:

[FirstFlaBn]

I was sober, but years ago I was driving across the desert southwest with my girlfriend. The low humidity caused my lips to crack and bleed. Desperate, I asked her for her lipstick. It was hot pink (but, as I said, I was desperate).

By the time we needed gas, I had forgotten about the lipstick. I pulled into the gas station, stopped at the pump, and turned to hand the gas cap key to the pump jockey (I told you it was a long time ago).

Just as I saw myself in the outside rearview mirror, the attendant also saw my face. He froze dead in his tracks. Nothing to do but smile and head for the potty (mens room).

[Darteaus94025]

At least he didn't wake up as...

[ken5050]

Well, since you bravely put yourself out there, I guess I'll follow suit...

This was the early 70's..I'd been dating a lovely lady for several months..we were going to a New Year's Eve party, and then spending the night at at the home of a friend of hers. Early on in the evening, and why, I have NO idea.. I STUPIDLY, STUPIDLY commented that I didn't like her shade of nail polish..the very dark colors were just then coming into fashion, and I didn't think much of them....much later on that night, after we'd long gone to bed, both somewhat inebriated from the party, when she awoke, she decided that it would be "funny" to paint my toenails with that same nail polish. She did, then went back to bed. Later, when I awoke to go to the bathroom, being in an unfamiliar space, and admittedly hung over, I stubbed my little toe on the door. It hurt like absolute bloody hell..and started swelling up like a balloon..I'd also badly torn the skin and it was bleeding profusely. After an hour or so of excruciating pain, I was convinced that I'd broken the bone and wanted to go to the ER. And then I realized that ALL my toenails were painted. We were in rural upstate NY..and that wasn't gonna fly..so I manned up..suffered..and it was fine after a few hours...BTW the toe is still slightly crooked..

[PowderMonkey]

"The sad thing (for him) was that he was arrested illegally on a bad disorderly conduct charge. But he was way too drunk to keep his mouth shut."

Play stupid games. Win...well, you know the rest.

[Born to Conserve]

“lol ya think the guy has an anger management problem
—for his sentence I’d make him dress in drag for 8 months—see what he does with that—lol”

I heard about a lady at a zoo who was poking at the bears. She got her arm ripped off.

[Scrambler Bob]

M4l

[Rebelbase]

Sounds like my son’s college stories. Guy passed out and they sharpied a swastika on his forehead. He woke up hungry and thirsty, went to the store and didn’t notice it until he got back.

[Rebelbase]

ROTF!

[bramps]

The life of a defense attorney can be quite entertaining- sometimes.
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
...and the lives of victims of the thugs kept on the streets by some defense attorneys can be hell (that’s if they’re still alive).

Bravo for being proud of getting a guy free from charges of threatening a woman and children. Bet you would’ve felt different if he threatened your wife and kids.

[Clump]

Well the prosecutor made the offer because after my client sobered up he called the officer and apologize.
Unfortunately I can make a living only representing the innocent.
I have represented a number of genuinely innocent people who were arrested and charged based on bad information or even malicious allegations,
It is most gratifying when I can take an innocent person who stands to lose everything by the overpowering force of the government and help him go free without a conviction.
There’s nothing like it, and it makes everything else worth it.
But innocent clients cause me to lose lots of sleep as the burden I carry can be at times unbearable.
After my last big case in February where my client’s future was saved my wife said “ I can’t believe I’m saying this but I wished you would just go back to representing dirtbags so you don’t have to think about work when you are at home.”
She was half kidding, but certainly funny as we have had to deal with some nasty cases.
And the capitalist nature of the defense bar is that you have to win tough cases and get street cred so you can eventually get the wealthy clients and high profile cases.
I am looking forward to a day (if I make enough on a case or two) when I can settle down on a ranch in rural area of motive state (TX) or maybe Wyoming.
I used to consider Colorado, but the recent gun laws are a deal breaker.
I would loved to have represented Zimmerman. I love self defense cases, and jury nullification cases. His lawyer did a very good job, and I would have been very satisfied with his performance if I was on trial.
Also, I’ve been a prosecutor. My only problem was the beuracracy of the large office, and all the CYA policies.
I regularly dismissed or refused to file cases because of illegal searches (I tried to teach he cops how to follow the Constitution) or unlawful carry charges based on the 2nd Amendment incorporated through the 14th.
My bosses didn’t like it and thought I was too radical.
After a while I realized that the biggest criminals in society are the ones who victimize society at large through their corruption and continue on in power with little to no accountability.
So many hands are in the pot that very few if any will ever expose anything.
Plus any potential whistleblower usually has his own skeletons which are all to known by those protecting themselves.
I’ve seen this at a medium size local county level.
I absolutely shutter at how bad it must be in Washington.
When Eric Holder is the top LEO I consider nearly every aspect of the justice system to be suspect.
It’s truly frightening.

[Squantos]

Lol .... We were cruel but fun none the less !...:o)