My brother went through a divorce in CA a while back and came out OK so it might give some hope...
Seven years married, no kids (phew) but she had him put her on the mortgage one week before she walked and she went after half his retirement.
Took two LONG years but he got away with paying one lump of abt $100K, most of which went to her lawyer...heh....boy, was she po’d!
Definitely money well spent!
Therein lies the problem. It is sad, but the lawyers are evil and corrupt. I am cynical enough, that I am convinced that the lawyers for both sides get together and try to drag things out, to maximize their profits. Is there any wonder why lawyers are hated?