[MHGinTN]

By telling ethnic jokes, smokin' and downing drinks, regardless of the color of your companions, maybe? I had a set of twins frineds in college. They were from a wealthy family and black. One night after making our way through a couple of bars and more than a dozen beers each, one of the twins (Maylon, I think, they were identical twins) told me I was truly not racist because the jokes were aimed at several colors and class levels and that made him feel like he wasn't being patronized and actually enjoying the company. It struck me sideways. I had not even thought of Maylon being black! Ruined the evening for me as I tried to race back over what I'd said the entire evening, to alert myself where I was 'being a bigot'. LOL

Maylon, wherever you are buddy, I firmly remember you as a black guy, now. And you played a lousy game of chess.

[Slambat]

“I tried to race back over what I’d said the entire evening, to alert myself where I was ‘being a bigot’.”

Sounds like you’ve given it a lot of thought. To be short.
I’m in a room with some black ladies, that I know, when they
ask me why I never say -n-. then it goes...
me, I don’t want to offend you.
tara, it wont offend us, we don’t care.
me, Out of respect, I’d rather not take that chance.
tara, I want to hear you say it, say it (kidding) you cracker.
Looking her in the eye smiling I said “do you really want
me to?” and she said “no”.
Racial epithets, personally, don’t bother me. It’s
strange. It doesn’t matter who they come from. But it’s
only the racial epithets. You’d get a bigger rise out of me
calling me a “dumba$$”. So normally I don’t use them or I
make my own up. So when someone calls me a racist I say
“ya, so what. Who isn’t” then I say “Prove it”.