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You know you live in Phoenix, AZ when:

- You laugh at Easterners who think 80 degrees is hot.
- When the temperature drops below 70 degrees, you’re cold.
- You’d rather park a mile away from the store in the shade than take a front-door spot in the sun.
- You swear that about 99% of the people here drive either a Prius or a big honkin’ SUV/truck.
- You’ve heard the phrase so many times, you want to punch someone in the face every time they say it: “It’s a dry heat!”
- You find postcards featuring skeletons and cacti not funny, but scarily accurate.
- Every other house is made of adobe and has a yard full of decorative rocks.
- You know how to pronounce “Cholla,” “Saguaro,” “Tucson,” and “San Xavier Del Bac,” despite never having taken any Spanish.
- You laugh when your Eastern friend think you’re crazy for loving those rare and wonderful cloudy/rainy days.
- You don’t think girls who wear shorts in January are crazy, because you’re aware that they probably don’t own any pants.
- You’ve considered wearing oven mitts to open a car door, put on a seatbelt, and hold a steering wheel.
- Your TV schedule changes twice a year because of the state’s refusal to follow Daylight Savings. (Sure, we’re stubborn, but DST is also totally pointless for AZ.)
- To you, “Snow Day” is nothing but a bad movie.
- You only have gym class outside between November and February—otherwise, it’s too darn hot.
- You have to go all the way to Flagstaff to see trees that aren’t palm or palo verde.
- People here don’t have rat or termite problems—they have rattler or scorpion problems.
- You hate the Lakers. And the Dodgers. And pretty much every L.A. sports team, really.
- You’ve definitely heard of this thing called “humidity,” but you still think it’s just a myth.