My bortherIL is a homosexual and he does not say this “Gays have a sexual obsession” exactly, he says “gays are 100% superficial, it is all about them and nothing else”.
My brother is also gay and it is a martyr thing as well. He loves the martyr role.
I went to an AIDS conference many years ago and our speaker was a gay guy....he said the gay culture is all about lookism....far, far worse than it is in the heterosexual community...so that jives with what you're bil says...btw I too have a gay bil ...