[NEMDF]

I raised a 12 year old son “alone” (and his younger sister). It is not easy, for sure, but it can be done, and can be extremely rewarding. Sometimes those are the circumstances within which a parent has to live. The kids turned out fine, by the way.

[HomeAtLast]

The kids turned out fine, by the way.

My husband died the same year the baby was born. Exemplary child, now an admirable adult. I was the oldest lady in the maternity ward, and it was hard work, but the best work I ever did! Credit to God and good homeschooling. That aside, people who don't know better, exhibit foolish prejudice quite often. All the attitudes in display on this thread are unpleasantly familiar to me.

[riri]

Yeah, I understand that and no doubt it can be done. Much depends on the boy and the woman I suppose. You'd have to be very strong. I could see my son steamrolling over me in another couple of years.

[Mad Dawg]

There is a critical difference between "a parent has to live" and "a parent chooses to live." And such studies as I have read suggest that when a child is the child of a single parent, if that happened because of necessity, like illness leading to death or death on the job or in war, the children do better than do those one or both of whose parents thought little of marriage.

I don't know how atheists think of this, but it seems to me that God and nature collaborated in developing a system which, while requiring the very best efforts of humans (for whom that which is worked for is that which is prized), also matches their deepest nature, both physically and otherwise -- namely that of a commitment in love.

This age has made clear that a "family" is not something that just happens but, as Ursula K. LeGuin implied, is something that needs to be made daily, like bread. And it is MY belief that a child understands, though subconsciously, the choice his parents make, whether to stay together, mostly for his benefit, or to part, mostly for theirs.

In the language of traditional Christianity, God himself is like a family. It is no accident that the terms "Father" and "Son" are used for two persons of the Trinity, while the Holy Spirit is nothing other than the love which flows between them.

Finally, there seems to be at least a plausible argument that the family, the intimate association based on a commitment in love, and religion. Mary Eberstadt,one of my faves, makes a compelling argument here.

[skinndogNN]

My parents divorced 38 years ago, I was 4. I have no doubt this event had a greater effect on my life than any other event since.

Children need security. Not just financial, but the security that both Mom and Dad are going to be there for them.

My children will never have to go through that.