lol
It rubs the sequester on its skin or else it gets the hose again.
Dear snakebit, rotten son-of-a-bitch government prick Congresscritter Congressman XYZ, I write to you as a citizen that lives and votes in your district.
We all know that times are hard, and we here in BFE, Texas appreciate the sacrifices you boys in DC have to put up with, up amongst the yankees.
But we have needs too, Senator (Frigging scary words, ain't they?). And you can help us.
It's nearly spring. The vernal equinox is soon. (Don't strain your brain, ask an aid to look at a calendar).
What this constituent needs is merde. Just that plain old stuff that you guys in DC have everywhere. I can also use the paper, if you'll shred it so the kids can't read it.
But the garden would do better with a load of what you guys in DC produce.
So if you could be so kind as to drop a load of stuff on my lawn, I'll take care of spreading it around.
I understand that's how things work in DC.
Your favorite a-hole right here in Texas,
/johnny