In other flu-related news, sources close to Nancy Pelosi’s office informed this reporter that the House member intends to introduce legislation ensuring that those Americans who get the flu while they are unemployed will have the necessary sick days added to their contracts when they find work. Said one ranking member of Ms. Pelosi’s office, “We just think it’s terribly unfair to get sick when you can’t take off work. Ms. Pelosi is committed to rectifying this injustice and ensuring that every American can miss work when they’re sick.”