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To: Altariel

4. Yes, I really do look for newspapers piled up on the driveway. And I might leave a pizza flyer in your front door to see how long it takes you to remove it..

I usually leave them outside when i am home, cause I want someone to think I am away, the second they break into my house is the second they lose their head and not in a metaphorical way...

5. If it snows while you’re out of town, get a neighbor to create car and foot tracks into the house. Virgin drifts in the driveway are a dead giveaway.

Same as above

9. I always knock first. If you answer, I’ll ask for directions somewhere or offer to clean your gutters. (Don’t take me up on it.)

I will let them knock but will not answer and I will watch them through the blinds to see what they do.

18. I love looking in your windows. I’m looking for signs that you’re home, and for flat screen TVs or gaming systems I’d like. I’ll drive or walk through your neighborhood at night, before you close the blinds, just to pick my targets.

I leave my blinds closed at all times

19. Avoid announcing your vacation on your Facebook page. It’s easier than you think to look up your address.

It is fun to create a public profile and tell everyone about your month long trip to Japan when you are out on medical leave for a hernia repair and have nothing to do but wait with my .45 while I rest on my couch. Also Craiglist is fun to post at too.

20. To you, leaving that window open just a crack during the day is a way to let in a little fresh air. To me, it’s an invitation.

My window has a spring loaded “mouse trap” you try to open it a little more and it will span back with a 10,000 lb screen with retractable steel blade, hope you like using a prosthesis.

21. If you don’t answer when I knock, I try the door. Occasionally, I hit the jackpot and walk right in.

And come face to face with my .45, good luck...


18 posted on 01/12/2013 9:42:50 PM PST by GraceG
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To: GraceG

Several years ago a couple of flatlanders were running a scam here in the hills.

They’d go up to houses, knock and ask if somebody with a weird, totally non-hillbilly name was home.

Of course, if they were home, people said no but they’d rob the houses where nobody answered.

This went on for two days.

Unbeknownst to any of us, as if with one mind, we *all* stopped answering the door when strangers knocked and waited quietly inside with guns loaded, instead.

Sadly, the cops got them before any of us did.


36 posted on 01/13/2013 6:16:27 AM PST by Salamander (This is my tagline. There are many others like it but this one is mine.)
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