The song most requested of accordionists?
Can you play Far, Far Away?
What's the difference between an accordion and a trampoline?
You take your shoes off before you jump up and down on a trampoline.
What is the range of an accordion?
Twenty yards if you've got a good arm!
What is the difference between an accordionist walking down the road with his accordion, and a goldfish swimming down the gutter with a banjo on his back?
The Goldfish has got a gig to go to.
What do a true music lover and an accordionist have in common?
Absolutely nothing.
Accordion to scientists and linguists, you can replace a word in a sentence with the name of a musical instrument and very few people will notice.
Definition of an optimist: An accordion player with a pager.
Q: Why are tubas like elderly parents?
A: Both are unforgiving and difficult to get into and out of cars.
Q: How many tuba players does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Just one, but he'll complain about how high the socket is.
Two tuba players walk past a bar... well, it could happen.
A tuba player walked into a bar... It cost him $175.00 to have the dent removed.
One week after moving into his first apartment, Ed called his mother to complain about his neighbors: "One woman cries all day, another lies in bed moaning, and then there's this guy that keeps banging his head against the wall."
"You better keep away from them," she said.
"I do. I stay inside all day playing my tuba."
How many lead guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?
None; they just steal someone else’s light.
How many bassists does it take to change a light bulb?
Why bother? The keyboard player can do it with his left hand.
How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?
Four; one to hold up the bulb and the other three to spin him on his throne.
How many lead vocalists does it take to change a light bulb?
One; he holds up the bulb and the world revolves around him.
How many sound guys does it take to change a light bulb?
One, two... one, two... one, two...