Posted on 01/03/2013 6:36:29 PM PST by BenLurkin
Halp ... am being tempted. Need a new boat. Got one?
i trust you had insurance? no?
Can’t it be salvaged?
Can’t discuss insurance, out in the open. Might cause a problem. Give me a few moments. Face might come up with a boat. Am gonna play this one for all can get.
It's been waiting patiently for years. It has withstood the challenge if teen skin health while scientists learned of new soaps and creams to allow the teens to continue their consumption. It has fought back challenges from the heart, while scientists learned that the dark version contained key anti-oxidants and could even help reduce cholesterol. Quietly it has brooded, waiting in your pantry for the day you thought it was safe to bring it out.
Little did you know the consumer was about to become the consumed in ...
The Day of Chocolate!
His ear had been covered by the brown, shiny substance. He tried to wash it off, but it made no difference. As his ear began to go numb he felt an itch deep in the canal.
He slammed open the drawer. Maybe the hair dryer could be turned up hot enough to melt it. He knew he was grasping at straws. He had no idea what he was dealing with, what it was capable of. He pulled the dryer out of the drawer and tried to plug it in. But his hand couldn't aim the plug at the outlet. He was getting dizy, the room was beginning to spin. He finally got the dryer plugged in and turned on, but it was too late. He collapsed on the bathroom floor.
In the kitchen, there was a low chuckle. He couldn’t hear it, but the blob had found what it was looking for. It pulled the lid off the coffee and thrust a pseudopod into the can.
and then the truth was realized ... the boat was sinking. He was not drunk. All the firearms and ammo would be lost. No salvage would be possible. So off to the lifeboat with the chocolate and rum. He would be happy while awaiting rescue, though with the siren's song being heard over the waves, he knew this rescue would come from presenting the siren the chocolate and rum. Did he really wish to be rescued or keep it all for himself.
Live's full of tough choices, idn't it???
yep.
Head for the hills, or stand and fight?
what would Gen Patton do?
Those sirens are tough when made of blobs mocha. Killers they are to the taste buds. Having sunk my boat and lost all my possessions am here floating in what is to be my doom and shall now lose my lifeboat. Will be full of chocolate and rum though, and the whispers, oh those sweat whispers shall give me solace as I pass beneath the waves after the onslaught. Lost my firearms and ammo and have no sword with which I shall defend myself. Will have to count on the fishes to drag me to safe shore. That works in the movies. It should work here in Internet land. Here fishes ... I have rum and chocolate.
I don't know. Isn't he dead? Do we take advice from dead guys?
Luke Skywalker did. Ben Kanobie was dead, but somehow his disembodied voice said, "Use the force, Luke." Now, if that had been me, I'd have said, "Stuff the force, Ben. You used the force and now you're dead. I plan to live. I'm using this targeting computer."
But Luke turned the targeting computer off, and the death star was toast. So maybe I should see if Gen. Patton's disembodied voice will give me some advice.
But until I hear from it, the chocolate will have to be dealt with. And if I head for the hills, it will eventually find me there. It will be bigger and stronger, and it will have a lot more caffeine. Can I let that happen? Will that improve my chances?
In the distance, I hear the rat-a-tat of automatic weapons fire. The National Guard has arrived. But it doesn't sound hopeful. It doesn't sound like lead is going to stop this thing. There has to be another answer. And I don't have long to find it.
We’ve had kudzu in the Floating Castle from the beginning. The goats eat it, and so did the geese until the plesiosaurs got them.
I turn and sprint toward the package store. Explosions in the distance. I don't know if the Guard is winning or losing, but they're still fighting. I get to the store. It's locked, but I smash a window, a Windows 8 window, which I hate anyway. I don't think anyone is going to be answering the alarm tonight. I find a case of the rum and race toward the explosions.
I'm getting too old for all this running, especially with a case of rum, but I don't know how to hotwire a care, so I run on as if I'd had a break between scenes to rest up.
Do goats eat ivy? There was conversation of crossing ivy with kudzu. Could goats be the key to saving the Castle if kudzu should breed with the ivy?
Goats eat practically anything, but kudzu is much more nutritious than ivy, and we can eat it, too, as well as eating the goats if it comes to that. I think we use kudzu in the nuclear reactor, as well.
I hate to leave when there is research to be done and lives to live and save. Duty calls and duty always wins except when it doesn’t. Duty shall win this time. Good luck everyone. Hold on to the Castle. Keep floating though the waters rise and the waves lap at the chocolate.
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