Posted on 12/21/2012 4:24:30 PM PST by rightwingintelligentsia
DECEMBER 21--A federal employee was formally reprimanded this month for excessive workplace flatulence, a sanction that was delivered to him in a five-page letter that actually included a log of representative dates and times when he was recorded “releasing the awful and unpleasant odor” in his Baltimore office.
In a December 10 letter accusing him of “conduct unbecoming a federal officer,” the Social Security Administration employee was informed that his “uncontrollable flatulence” had created an “intolerable” and “hostile” environment for coworkers, several of whom have lodged complaints with supervisors.
The worker, a 38-year-old Maryland resident, reportedly submitted evidence that he suffered from “some medical conditions” that, at times, caused him to be unable to work full days. But a SSA manager noted in the reprimand letter that, “nothing that you have submitted has indicated that you would have uncontrollable flatulence. It is my belief that you can control this condition.”
(Excerpt) Read more at thesmokinggun.com ...
(Quoting Dave Barry) “Bean burritos could help explain why most of Mexico is located outdoors.”
Is this really serious? Not satire?
I can tell you Gas-X is not going to work. Maybe Gaviscon (I haven’t tried, although I think it’s more stomach-centered than intestines-centered). I have lots of chronic digestive disease, and occasionally I have gas inside so bad it’s really painful. Gas-X relieves that, if you know what I mean.
Actually the SS complex is literally west of the edge of real Baltimore. Our family friend lives down the street from it, and not much further is my aunt. Although I must say Woodlawn generally is not a real good place; takes the color of the worst of Baltimore.
ping for MD
No wonder Hitler was so anti smoking. One match and the whole room could explode.
This whole story stinks.
Maryland “Freak State” PING!
My 1st “pro” job I had some pals down the hall in the “big office”, with 4 people. The oldest of them (maybe 50s) was infamous as a flatulator. I didn’t know this until I asked what the deal was with all of them having dust masks hanging from their lamps. That’s when I found out they were symbolic of using protection against Tom and his frequent outbursts.
What is the workers name? Gaseous Clay? Fartholomew? Stinky Pete?
I remember reading a post a while back, where a person talked about working in a gov office with a group of deaf people who have no idea that passing gas causes sound. I can’t do his description justice although it still brings a smile to my face when I think about it.
On this one, the one-liners just write themselves.
Thanks for posting.
I just got finished reading the entire thread out loud to my family — they are STILL doubled up in laughter and tears (we were going to a funeral today but it’s about to start snowing...).
So...they put in place a farting freeze.
I am not making this up: one of my friends asked her teenager where he was going, and he said, "Down to Kohut's barn to light farts."
Reminds me of that old joke:
Q. Why did God make farts smell the way they do?
A. So that the deaf could also enjoy them.
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