There I was sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large, trouble-making biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig.
“Well, whatcha’ gonna do about it?”, he says, menacingly, as I burst into tears.
“Come on, man,” the biker says, “I didn’t think you’d CRY. I can`t stand to see a man crying.”
“This is the worst day of my life,” I say. “I’m a complete failure. I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don’t have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my wife with another man and then my dog bit me.”
“So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all, I buy a drink, I drop a capsule in and sit here watching the poison dissolve . . . then you show up and drink the whole damn thing! But enough about me, how’s your day going?”
Leonard Bernstein?
So the world is supposed to be ending today? ~That’s sad beacause I never found out who let the dogs out~ the way to get to Sesame Street~ why Dora doesn’t just use Google maps~ why we don’t ever see the headline “Psychic Wins Lottery”~ why women can’t put on mascara with their mouth closed~why “abbreviated” is such a long word, why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor yet dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons~ why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections and why do you have to “put your two cents in” but it’s only a “penny for your thoughts”? Where’s that extra penny going to? ~Why did Joanie love Chachi?~ If a deaf person has to go to court is it still called a hearing?~ Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane? ~Does the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star have the same tune? Why did you just try to sing those two previous songs? And just what is Victoria’s secret? ~You see, the world just has to keep going.~ I have too many questions...... ????
http://www.youtube.com/embed/VGLGJV01C0Q
Here’s hoping you get everything you want for Christmas, FRiends!
Top 100!
They were wrong when they said the world would end when the planets aligned . . .
They were wrong when they said the world would end when the days matched 1-1-1; 2-2-2; . . . 12-12-12. . .
They were wrong when they said the world would end when the Mayan calendar runned out . . .
AND NOW I DON’T KNOW WHEN THE WORLD WILL END!
