I got nothing for you man.
If you’re thinking of doing something drastic, at least consider joining the French Foreign Legion. You’ll learn French, get to see Senegal or Guyana, and after 4 years you can choose a new French name and move to Paris when you get out of the service. Paris is filled with good looking women. Boy, that’s some city. Believe me you.
Let me suggest for your new name: Jean-Bertrand du Charlebois.
You have given me one of my few laughs of the night. Merci beaucoup.
Think they’d take a 46 year old? B-) I’m a fan of Indiana Jones and the TV series “Young Indy” where he joined the Belgian Army under the name of Henri LeFrance. I’ll go by that name. B-)