A bathroom break is "Going to see a man about a horse." -- a Florida cracker expression. When someone keeps handing you the wrong tool or is sitting there doing nothing that's "as useful as tits on a boarhog." - swampeast Missouri
"Happy as a pig in sh!t." - Ozarks
A bench-clearing fight on a ball field is a donnybrook. - St. Louis
When you are working a job where nothing you do seems to work is being "stuck like a turtle on a fencepost," an expression from farmers who when plowing put any turtles they find on fenceposts until the work is done and danger is past. Most turtles keep paddling the air for a while before giving up.---- Illinois
"You are a scholar and a gentleman." - said to anyone judged to have integrity. --Illinois
My dad's : "If you don't stop crying I'll give you something to cry about."
And another one he used a lot when kids whined too much : "You are going to like it whether you like it or not."
And another : "Go tell your mother she wants you."
Or "Go play in the street."
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