Why don’t women blink during foreplay?
Who gives a damn! I got what I needed!
No, the real answer is:
Not enough time.
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My sex life is like a Ferrari.
I don’t have a Ferrari.
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An Italian tourist asks a blonde, “Why do scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?”
To which the blonde replies, “If they fell forward, they’d still be in the boat.”
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iRon
It all began with an iPhone...
March was when our son celebrated his 17th birthday, and we got him an iPhone. He just loved it. Who wouldn’t?
I celebrated my birthday in July, and my wife made me very happy when she bought me an iPad.
Our daughter’s birthday was in August so we got her an iPod Touch.
My wife celebrated her birthday in November so I got her an iRon.
It was around then that the fight started...
What my wife failed to recognize is that the iRon can be integrated into the home network with the iWash, iCook and iClean. This inevitably activates the iNag reminder service.
I should be out of the hospital next week!!
PS: iHurt!!!
And That's When The Fight Started...
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Wife and Hubby were shown into the dentist's office, where Hubby made it clear he was in a big hurry.
"No fancy stuff, Doctor," he ordered, "No gas or needles or any of that stuff. Just pull the tooth and get it over with."
"I wish more of my patients were as stoic as you," said the dentist admiringly. "Now, which tooth is it?"
Hubby turned to his wife and said, "Show him, honey."
And That's When The Fight Started...
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Wife and Hubby were sitting in the cool of the evening on the veranda. Suddenly Hubby says gently, “I love you.”
Wife smiles shyly, and asks, “Is that you or the wine talking?
Hubby replies, “It’s me... talking to the wine."
And That's When The Fight Started...
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While attending a Marriage Weekend, Wife and Hubby listened to the instructor declare, “It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other..”
He then addressed the men,
‘Can you name and describe your wife’s favorite flower?’
Hubby leaned over, touched Wife's hand gently, and whispered, ‘Robin Hood All-Purpose, isn’t it?’
And That's When The Fight Started...
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After retiring, Hubby went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked him for his driver's license to verify my age. Hubby looked in my pockets and realized he had left his wallet at home. He told the woman that he was very sorry, but he would have to go home and come back later.
The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So Hubby opened his shirt revealing curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is Proof enough for me' and she processed the application.
When he got home, Hubby excitedly told Wife about what happened. Wife said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten Disability, too.'
And That's When The Fight Started...
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