When I was stationed in Germany, I did go home with a waitress, but she wasn't with the Russians.
Here's my offering of great Zevon lyrics:
Carmelita, hold me tighter
I think I'm sinking down
And I'm all strung out on heroin
On the outskirts of town
Well, I'm sittin' here playing solitaire
With my pearl-handled deck
The county won't give me no more methadone
And they cut off your welfare check
Carmelita hold me tighter
I think I'm sinking down
And I'm all strung out on heroin
On the outskirts of town