I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so I sat down and had a couple nice cold beers. The day was really quite beautiful, and the brew facilitated some deep thinking on various topics.
Finally I thought about an age old question: Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the Nuts?
Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts.
Well, after another beer, and some heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with the answer to that question. Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby; and here is the reason for my conclusion.
A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, “it might be nice to have another child.”
On the other hand, you never hear a guy say, “You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts.”
I rest my case.
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A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there’s a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there’s a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers. Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there’s a large limo line at the rental office, but he’s patient and gets the job done. Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there’s no punchline.
I went to a baseball game the other day. Being retired, all I could afford was “nose bleed” level seats. None the less, it was a sunny day and my home team was playing.
I looked down in the expensive seats and saw some one I thought I recognized, a guy named Lou. So I stood up, and yelled “Hey! Lou!!”. No response from the guy. Must have been some one else.
A bit later, after still thinking this was my buddy, I again stood up and yelled (this time more loudly) “HEY! LOU!” Still no response. People around me were getting a little upset. Yet I was sure this was my pal, Lou.
It’s the end of the game. I was dead certain the guy in the field level seats was Lou. I hadn’t seen him in ages and thought maybe we could meet later for some beers. “HEY LOOOOUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!” as loud as I could yell.
A guy way down low stood up and looked up at me and yelled, “I’m not Lou!!!!!!!!!”
good ones