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That reminds me of the time I grilled steaks for guests (wife’s co-worker and hubby.) After serving, the co-worker asked if I could put the steak back on the grill for a bit longer (no problem) then asked for ketchup.

Shoe leather, brown through & through - covered in ketchup. And these were some handcut uber-thick steaks. I wanted to shout.

Always more salt & pepper than you think - I want a nice coat, almost looking like a rub. And forget times and temps, you can get really good at checking doneness just by quickly poking it with your finger tip to check its resistance.

[OB. Gazebo by a lakeside in the AR simulation]

[ALL present]

MRS BENNET Where on earth have dear Lizzie and Jane disappeared to? Such rudeness! I'm most vexed! (girls giggle)
KOCHANSKI Never mind, Mrs Bennet, I'm sure they'll be --

[KOCHANSKI breaks off as Mrs Bennet turns and stares at the lake with open- mouthed horror. KOCHANSKI follows her gaze, and sees a mean-looking T-72 battle tank roll out of the lake. It rolls to halt at the water's edge, and it's hatch opens. KRYTEN appears from within the tank]

KRYTEN Perhaps I didn't make myself clear? I said: 'supper is ready'!

[KRYTEN fires a round from the tank which decimates the gazebo. When the smoke clears, only LISTER, CAT and KOCHANSKI remain]

KRYTEN Is anyone still unclear as to the supper situation? No? Excellent.
LISTER I didn't know robots *got* PMT!

[Int. Starbug mid-section]

[ALL present. The mood is tense as LISTER, KOCHANSKI and CAT sit down to KRYTEN's lovingly prepared meal]

LISTER It's nice, Kryts, really nice.
KOCHANSKI It's really great.
LISTER In fact, it's better than nice, it's fantastic.
KOCHANSKI Isn't it great?
LISTER It's really great.
KOCHANSKI Really, really great.

[CAT stares at them both and throws down his fork]

CAT Are we eating the same stuff?
KRYTEN I don't know *why* I make the effort. No one appreciates the *hours* I put into food prep!
My fingers are practically worn down to the endo- skeleton.
LISTER Is there any ketchup?
KRYTEN Any *what*?
LISTER Ketchup. I just thought it could do with a bit of ketchup... Just a dollop..?
KRYTEN Ketchup??
KOCHANSKI Oh my god...
KRYTEN You want *ketchup*??
LISTER Errm... brown! Not tomato! Brown! It's not like I've got *no* class...
KRYTEN With lobster? You want *brown* ketchup?
LISTER It's really nice Kryts, but you know me, I just thought it could do with a bit of a pep-up...
KRYTEN I *can't* believe it. I simply cannot b --

[KRYTEN's head explodes, showering the diners with plastic, pieces of circuit board and fizzing wires]

CAT Oh well done, bud! Now *we'll* have to do the washing up!
KOCHANSKI (standing and examining KRYTEN) He's *literally* blown his top! Cat, can you go and get a spare head?
CAT How come I have to do everything around here? I never get a second to myself! "Cat do this", "Cat do that"; what am I? A dog?