Jessie J.
It's like the producer of this took the This Year's Cultural Highlights issues of some British magazine for the past century, tossed them in the blender and poured out the results.
This column by a puzzled reviewer is actually more entertaining than the ceremony:
http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/olympics-fourth-place-medal/spice-girls-not-enough-save-jessie-j-centric-005423459—oly.html