O.M.G., just discovered I’m rich!
Silver In The Hair
Gold In The Teeth
Crystals In The Kidneys
Sugar In The Blood
Lead In The Ass
Iron In The Arteries
And
An Inexhaustible Supply Of Natural Gas.
I never thought I would accumulate such wealth!
ATTENTION:
Your post was monitored by the Administration.
Your claim to wealth accumulation has been documented.
Please answer the knocking at your door, and admit the agents with no questions asked, since they don’t possess warrants to enter.
Be certain to provide your full name, SSAN, and your party affiliation, which can be verified by your party membership card, which should always be in your breast pocket over your heart.
Forward.