It's Peanut Butter Jelly Time
German Chancellor Angela Merkel arrives at Passport Control at Charles de Gaulle airport, Paris.
“Nationality?” asks the immigration officer.
“German,” she replies.
“Occupation?”
“No, just here for a few days.”
The Secret Service issued new rules of conduct for agents Friday.
They can no longer get drunk, procure hookers or go to strip bars.
The rules say that from now on, if agents feel compelled to engage
in such behavior, they can run for public office like everyone else.
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“When I joined the military it was illegal to be homosexual, then it became Optional, and now it’s Legal.
I’m getting out before Our Commander & Chief makes it mandatory.”
GySgt Harry Berres, USMC
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Snow White And The Dwarf Coal Miners
One fateful day the seven dwarfs left to go work at the local coal mine (hey, even little people have to make a dollar) while Snow White stayed home to prepare lunch. When she arrived at the mine around noon with their food she saw that there had been a terrible cave in.
Tearfully, and fearing the worst, Snow White began calling out for them. She prayed her dwarfs had survived. “Hello, hello,” she cried out... “Can anyone hear me? Hello...” For quite some time, without hearing a word.
Just as she was about to lose hope, Snow White called out one last time... “Hello. Is anyone down there? Please, can anyone here me?” She then heard a faint voice, deep from within the mine. The voice said, “Vote for Obama!”
Snow White, relieved that at least one dwarf had survived, gasped “Oh, thank God Dopey is still alive.”
A VERY BRIEF HISTORY OF THE CONDOM
In 1272, the Arabic Islamic Muslims invented the condom, using a goat's lower intestine.
In 1873, the British somewhat refined the idea by taking the intestine out of the goat first.
No need to thank me. I do this as a public service for the advancement of American education.
