An oldie, but it’s still funny:
Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog
chow for my loyal pet, Jake, the Wonder Dog and was in the check-out
line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had an elephant? So because I’m retired and have
little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn’t have a dog, I
was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t,
because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I’d lost 50
pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming
out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way
that it works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and
simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is
nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it
again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was
now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog
food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a
poodle’s ass and a car hit me.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was
laughing so hard.
Costco won’t let me shop there anymore. Better watch what you ask
retired people. They have all the time in the World to think of crazy
things to say.
ROFLOL!