Most "ordinary" (are there any??) people simply cannot imagine how addictive these chemicals are!
I have a friend, a real man, a man who simply loves the Lord, but who was introduced to Ativan (lorazepam) by the VA because of depression. He sat at my table and cried out with the deepest kind of heart-rending lostness at being entrapped by this cycle, and no one else to tell it to.
I gave him a copy that I had of Robwert Whitaker's book "Anatomy Of An Epidemic" which describes the overspreading shadow on our country of the ill-termed "psychotropic" drugs that have flooded our land.
This helped him to understand that his predicament can be alleviated, but only with great personal effort and drug-induced grief in the process. He is now struggling with scaling down from lorazepam, under close cooperation by one of the few MDs in the whole country who has gone through this himself.
I know a pastor, who was on Xanax for some time, was finally able to be weaned off it for a couple of years. But now, under heavy burdens, was not able to bear them, and has had to go back on Xanax to stay sane. His congregation has almost evaporated, they not knowing of the condition and consequences. He's lost 30 pounds in the last 2 months, barely filling out his clothes.
I also personally know another one of the subjects described in the "Anatomy Of An Epidemic" who at one time totally lost muscular coordination, and now, after some years of withdrawal, will never berestored to full control of his ability to speak fluently or use his hands to eat or drink a cup of coffee without shaking.
More to be said, by no time right now. Tell those who are affected -- users, relatives, friends -- to begin searching the web on this for starters. Get Whitaker's book, for follow-on, but try to find a doctor who has come to the point of reality in assessing the awful danger of these benzodiazepines and the like kind of psyche and physically damaging substances.
The only way to quit these drugs safely once one has become addicted is to very, very slowly ween oneself off of them. Quitting them cold turkey may well be suicide, and an agonizing death at that.
After seeing my friends 12 year battle with Xanax, I am not certain that one can quit even by weening after some certain amount of time using has gone by.
My own experience with Xanax was irresponsible abuse to start. I started with purple footballs 1mg about 1 per day, got me nice and high. Then I moved to Xanbars which is a 2mg dose. Of course as one builds a tolerance by consuming them on a daily basis, one no longer feels the same high, then one must increase the dosage in order to do so.
So I was at about two Xanbars a day, a 4 mg dose, when all of a sudden I couldn’t get anymore. Uh oh! It took me about three days of no pills before I realized something was terribly wrong. Then the dragon moved in with me. I affectionately call it the dragon, because it is as if a dragon is sitting in the living room right there with you. Yes, a real live scaly fire breathing dragon. As one might expect, the dragon is not very nice, not nice at all.
I googled alprazolam withdrawl at the time, and I had every single listed effect except death. I couldn’t eat anything. I couldn’t sleep at all for three months straight. Sure I laid in bed, but no sleep came. Every single source of light was pain, even my clock. I could not stand for longer than 5 seconds. I could not shop for groceries, I could not drive a car, I could not speak, I could not even sign my own name on a check to pay my bills. I could not recognize my own hands when I looked at them.
I compare this all to a bad acid trip that never ends. Hallucinations were plentiful, none of them enjoyable by any means. The worst of the effects I thought was what is known as a trembling headache, which does not go away, aspirin does not help. It felt like I was on the edge of epileptic seizure all the time, but I don’t have epilepsy.
Somehow I survived all this, was fine for a while until Hurricane Katrina destroyed my house and I found myself living in a hotel in Florida for 6 months. It was very difficult to sleep here, plus all sorts of anxiety because my moms house was also destroyed, and so was my grandmothers, and on top of that my grandmother and I got into a huge fight when I told her I was not returning to New Orleans :(
Once again I fell into the pit of Hell and started taking Xanax to help me sleep at the hotel. I did this for about 4 months before I started to notice patterns occurring and I thought man what the **** am I doing, I know better than this.
I knew I would rather step in front of a train than go through withdrawl again so I bought some amount of Xanax, illegally of course, and decided the only thing to do is ween myself of this curse.
It took a good deal of time, very, very slowly, and perfect discipline, no making mistakes, because one mistake would force a set back and may necessitate having to purchase more of this crap. So each week or so, I would reduce my intake ever so slightly, and each reduction hurt. I could feel the dragon lurking, but he would not win this time.
Eventually, I took one small section of a Xanbar, each section is a .5 mg dose, and cut that into 4 peices with a razor blade and took them over 4 days. Then I cut those 4 pieces into 8, and that was about as small as I could get them.
After a period of time with those tiny pieces, I was able to walk away free, without pain or insanity, and I have never gone back, to Hell with that sh*t, from whence it came.
I have tried over a period of about 6-7 years to help my friend do the same, but he cannot seem to do it, he always falls back. His period of abuse was much, much longer than mine, and I am not even sure if it’s doable, I have had to give up, I can’t help him with his demon, it’s too great. Only God can help him now.